


a beautiful girl can turn your world to dust

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Women of the Otherworld - Kelley Armstrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-19
Updated: 2008-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-25 08:53:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1642625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For half-demon Adam, working near Savannah every day is torture. Especially when he thinks he is a danger to everyone he gets close to.<br/>(Character study. Post-"No Humans Involved". 3,000+. Swearing.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	a beautiful girl can turn your world to dust

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to crazyjay  & shelagh for beta reading this! Title from "Punchdrunk Lovesick Singalong" by Radiohead.
> 
> Written for monimala

 

 

Adam was in a lot of trouble. 

It was only a matter of time before he spilled what was on his mind and Savannah seemed to be able to sense whenever he had a secret. She normally badgered him until he broke; like that time he confessed that he had fired his only employee because he didn't like how vulgar the new assistant security guard was with her. It meant that he was back to being the head of a non-existent department, but it was worth it to keep scum bags like him out of the workplace.

Now he had another secret and with every attempt of Savannah's, his resolve was getting weaker. He told himself that it wasn't really his fault - if only she would stop constantly bringing up the subject, but lately, Savannah seemed to enjoy watching him squirm. Even while they were wasting time at the office playing games.

"You really suck at this game. I bet that my grandfather beats your father all the time in cards. There is no way you can be that shitty without it being genetic." 

The seemingly small, innocuous comments got under his skin until he was no longer bored and actually thankful that they didn't have any clients. He would be too distracted to be of any help. 

Her latest attack was while he was on the phone with a girl he had been seeing.

"So it turns out that my biological father is like, this crazy killer." He was trying his best to put the right amount of fake shock into his voice for the performance. He didn't have to worry though because as it turns out, growing up in California did have some perks: she was falling for it.

"No way. And he's tried to contact you?" Well, not exactly. In fact, it was sort of the other way around, which was something he was hoping to keep from everyone for the time being.

The problem was that no-one _contacted_ Eudemons, not unless you summoned one and even then there weren't good odds that you'd get the one who'd fathered you to go "Hey Pops, what's up?" But the logistics of it all was something he couldn't really discuss with a human.

He decided to settle for telling her, "It's a little complicated." Man, was _that_ was an understatement.

"Have you talked to your mother about any of this?" Yeah, like _that_ topic would go over well. He knew that his mom never regretted the one-night stand that led to his birth, but he also knew her well enough to know that her reaction to his current research would not be a friendly one. He guesses that must be one of the perks of being raised by a single mom - he can predict down to the tone of voice she would use when she yelled at him.

"That's a conversation I'd rather avoid right now, but I might go visit her. I need to think some things through first. Is it okay if I cancel our date?"

"I completely understand Adam; take all the time you need."

"I knew you would, Denise. Thanks." Perfect, one less obstacle this week. He liked the girl, really he did, but he could only date someone for a few weeks before tiring of them. He figured that it was only a matter of time before he started dating other half-demons like himself through some sort of Cabal match-making service. Of course, Paige would give him an earful over _that_ idea before he'd even dialled the first number.

Which led him to his second obstacle this week; he needed to think of an excuse to bail on Paige and Lucas' business or he'd arrive in New York by the time his contact had left.

Unfortunately, a familiar voice interrupted his thought-process.

"Wow, the girls you date must be dumb as a post to fall for stuff like that." The culprit behind that voice poked her dark head around the corner of the library he had set up in Paige and Lucas' building.

"Well, Savannah, they _are_ humans." He swivelled his chair around, an easy grin already forming. He was soon discovering that it was almost too easy to be himself with her.

"Ever thought of dating a non-human girl, maybe a witch?"

He studied her face and couldn't quite dismiss the resulting image of dating _her_ fast enough for his liking. The thought caused him to frown.

"Nah, too many warts on their noses." He teased, giving her a small pinch that elicited a giggle.

They had been left alone in the office again for the third time that week and it was starting to make him uncomfortable. He didn't mind Savannah's company or the way she generally neglected her secretarial duties to talk to her friends all afternoon - it calmed him to hear her laughing voice float down the hall. 

However, after only holding 'to-be-called-only-in-extreme-emergencies-as-a-backup-babysitter' status during the first few years of Paige's guardianship, it was odd to suddenly be trusted to be around her every day. He thinks that maybe he enjoyed being thought of as 'Paige's cool friend Adam' much better than being thought of as 'that idiot Adam that deludes himself into thinking he can actually amount to anything'. For one thing, it was a lot easier to maintain a teenager's affection when the visits were infrequent and prefaced with a gift. Now that he had moved to Portland, he couldn't exactly give her something every Monday to keep her smile trained on him.

He had been aware of her childish crush and there were multiple times when he wondered if maybe this was karma for encouraging it. He couldn't regret it though, the timid little witch he'd met all those years ago had just lost her mother and he thought that there was no harm in offering her a friendly shoulder or playful distraction from the pain of real life. So it was his own fault now that a small, jealous part of him was disappointed to watch her grow up and away from him. Of course, he would never in a million years admit to missing the attention she used to pay him, that would be crossing a line that he was getting dangerously closer to with every moment spent with her.

His main problem with Savannah, other than the boys she dated, was that she was so desperate to grow up. He didn't mind so much her proclivity to jump head-first into action; he knew she was smart enough to take care of herself and he remembered how eager he used to feel to be taken seriously. What he really minded was how she was dressing. He told himself that he should have strictly guardian feelings towards her, but she had matured from the little stick of a girl he'd first met while she was being held captive in a make-shift prison.

Thankfully, her jet black hair had grown out from that bob cut and now the ends swished around her shoulders and collarbone when she walked. She had tried for a month to dress like a mixture between a classic pin-up and an old librarian. She must have soon realised that the clothes weren't right for her small frame that lacked hips and an ass to detract from the sleek line of her body, but she had also realised that cleavage can kill the male heart-rate and she seemed to enjoy punishing the lesser sex with her new wardrobe of low-cut, attitude-enhanced t-shirts and jeans.

"So what's the deal with New York?"

"Excuse me?"

"I handle the phones, you doof. I know you've booked a flight. But I'm more curious as to why you seem to be ahead of schedule in ditching your latest fling. Any particular reason? "

"Savannah, I'm not discussing my dating life with you."

"Paige thinks you push people away, you know." She said with a matter-of-fact tone she had probably gleaned from a new self-help guru on daytime TV, she sounded so formal that he had to choke back a laugh.

"What? I do not!" This was _not_ the time for this, Adam normally kept a cool head, but after tracking down a reliable contact and then dealing with the airline, he was at the end of his patience and not in the mood to argue childishly over his love life.

"Yeah, you kind of do."

"Well, I've got a good fucking reason to!" With that he stood up from his chair and slapped his hand down onto the table and the demonic part of him was overjoyed to see the pages of the book he was flipping through ignite suddenly and crumble to ash.

He didn't need to see Savannah's face to know how she must feel; he'd seen the same fear on countless other faces after losing his temper. He took a quick step back, retreating into the corner of the room and took a couple deep breaths to cool down. He had spent years in and out of doctor's offices as a kid and the only thing he got out of all the different sessions, other than his new step-dad, was that there was no cheat to calm his temper and he just had to wait the anger out. His only defence against the outbursts was to maintain as relaxed an attitude toward life as possible. Savannah was aware of his Zen philosophy and seemed to have slowly moved closer, intently watching him but remaining quiet. Slowly, he felt the heat and energy seep away and pushed down the part of his brain that missed losing it. Savannah didn't act scared or impatient; but she had never witnessed him in this condition and he felt like a monster out of control. After he felt somewhat close to normal, he managed a weak apology. "Shit. Can you not tell Paige I swore in front of you?"

"Please, like it's the first time I've heard it. Besides, she seems to have given up on reigning in my language. Picking her battles and all that. "

"Thanks."

"So, what is it?"

"What?" He asked, still slightly distracted and counting under his breath.

"Your reason."

"As you might have noticed, I'm not exactly safe." He gestured to the charred remains on the table, mentally noting that it was smart of Lucas not to order any real wood furniture.

"That's bullshit, Adam." She placed her hands on her hips and continued, "I'm a quarter Aspicio and you don't see me moaning about it."

"Yeah and when was the last time you showed any demon powers?"

"Shut up, you can't seriously be torturing yourself over this. Only Lucas is that self-loathing. Or, rather, he was."

"Listen, I hate to break it to you, Savannah, but you've not seen what my temper has done. I'm dangerous." 

While his adult life had been spent in relative comfort, he had been a small and lanky child. He soon learned that a scrawny kid with a quick temper didn't mix well. He'd had to learn to fight with his fists before too many people were burnt badly enough to be hospitalised. Eventually, he grew a tough skin and easy-going nature that fit in more with his surfer buddies than with the new clients he was working with. However, even now he could be triggered and then nothing stopped the fiery rage that flowed through his veins.

"Then find a black witch who can hold her own." He tensed instantly, recognising the emotion in her voice.

"That's not what you are--"

She cut him off before he could get far into his panicked speech. "Save it. I know that they still worry about me. They won't let me practice with them."

"Savannah, you have to know that she trusts you." In fact, he thought that the reason she was kept out of their spell-casting sessions had nothing to do with her potential and more to do with their sex life.

"Still, I know what it's like to feel that there is something else, maybe something _evil_ inside of you." She reached up a hand and for a second he thought she was going to touch him before she stopped and changed her mind, pulling her fingers through her hair instead. The movement just made him realise how scary he must be.

"Well, imagine that ten-fold and then wonder if you can ever completely control it."

He wanted to get a good look at her face, but for once, she wasn't staring defiantly at anyone and her long hair covered half of her expression.

"I mean, what if we're on a mission and something goes wrong? I'd never forgive myself."

"You think you'll hurt me? Look who you're talking to. I'm not some beach bunny you met on Spring Break." And she was right, the feelings she stirred in him were far more powerful than anything he'd felt for any of the college co-eds he'd bedded.

Again, he mentally reprimanded himself for the images that last train of thought brought on and shook his head to clear the thoughts away. "You're different. Hell, you could probably kick _my_ ass. But the girls I date are more fragile." He didn't want to investigate the small voice in the back of his head that was telling him that he should just date _her_.

"There's a simple solution, you idiot: stop dating fragile bimbos." She smugly looked at him waiting for praise and when she realised that he hadn't responded she stood on her tip-toes to wave one of her hands in front of his eyes.

"Adam? Hello? I just solved your big meta-crisis."

But he hadn't heard her and was now continuing on with some difficulty. His focus was obviously somewhere else because he hadn't noticed that his hands were glowing menacingly. "What's worse than all of that though, is feeling _useless_. Sure, I can melt any bond someone tries to tie me with, I can give someone third-degree burns, I can incinerate objects but -"

"I mean, how's that going to help me protect people? I hate having such a purely physical power. Not only is it fuelled by emotions that aren't exactly saintly, but it's limited to short-range effectiveness. I thought that maybe by talking to an Exustio, I could expand on that. Surrounded by you three, I'm the odd man out, the loser who couldn't hack it."

"Adam--" 

The soft shock in her voice brought him back to the office and he realised that not only had he lost valuable time, but an ancient text as well. Her large blue eyes were staring up at him with such anxiety and it made his stomach twist. The last thing he wanted from her was pity so he straightened his spine and brushed the remaining ash from his hands. 

"Alright, I get it. Stop feeling sorry for myself. You gave me the answer: I just have to find a smart and beautiful half-demon girl with a heart of gold. She'll have to be strong enough to take care of herself and put me in my place but also be able to humour my over-protective tendencies. From there I'll just have to introduce her to the Wonder Couple when they return so she can feel properly inadequate and after all that all I need to do is cross my fingers that she'll also understands all my inner turmoil and issues."

"Now, Adam, you can't be too specific. Anybody would think you weren't serious. Remember, she could be a quarter-demon witch." He started to feel better when he saw her mouth twitch up with a smirk.

"Of course, how could I pigeonhole myself?" He even let himself relax back into the chair as her smile grew. "But we're forgetting the most important thing, kiddo."

He didn't want to ruin the mood, so he had managed not to meet her gaze since his last outburst but she had a strange pull on him and the moment he did, he instantly regretted it. The light in her eyes was too much, any second now and he'd do something he'd regret. He had to get them back on a level playing field.

"She's got to have your approval! You're the only thing saving me from women who are `dumb as posts', remember? 

"Oh, yeah. Right." He was still too distracted by his own thoughts to notice how her form seemed to slump and her voice lacked the normal cheery quality.

"It's almost too bad that you don't count, isn't it?"

"Mhmm...sorry, what? Oh yeah, right. Like I'd ever date--" She waved her arms in his direction to indicate `loser' or `jock' and he felt something deflate inside his chest. Finally, he seemed to notice that her attention was divided and he had to resist the urge to check over his shoulder for what she was staring at with so much malice. He simply figured it had nothing to do with him; after all, he had already taken up too much of her time.

"You okay?"

"Huh? No. I'm fine. It's just that I think we might be giving you too much credit to keep this wonderful mystery girl. After all..." And she pointed down to the text on her t-shirt that reminded him that boys are shit-heads and that things should be thrown at them. However, upon looking at her face, he felt like she was about to throw a nasty incantation his way instead of a heavy object.

Whatever had made her mood shift so violently was a mystery to him, but this seemed like the perfect time to get back to work.

"Gee, thanks squirt. Always so supportive." He really wanted to lightly ruffle her silky black hair but settled for grazing her shoulder with his fist in a teasing punch. "Well, I should get back to reading, so..."

Before he could even finish, she had already walked out of the room with a huff.

" _Teenagers_." He whispered, more confused than ever. 

 


End file.
